Terrified of Witnessing?

When my parents sent me to kindergarten at the age of 5 and a half, they didn’t know what was “wrong” with me.

It’s the mid-1970s, in the Adirondack Mountains of upstate NY, and my parents had just spent two years taking me to several specialists to figure out why I wasn’t talking like a normal child should.

The consensus among the specialists was that I had behavioral issues that might require psychologist help.

After about a week into the school year, Mrs. Siglin, my Kindergarten teacher, told my parents that she couldn’t teach me — I was “unteachable.” But she had an idea as to what might be “wrong” with me. She knew of an audiologist and requested to come along with my parents to the appointment to have me evaluated.

My only memory of that visit with Audrey, the audiologist, was of her placing me in this sound-proof room with very tight-fitting headphones. I remember jabbering to myself as I sat in a hard cushioned chair.

My parents and Mrs. Siglin sat nearby, watching me. My mother was crying.

Audrey discovered my problem. I had moderate to severe hearing loss.

Nerve damage. A birth defect.

They listened to me as I continued to be mesmerized by the sound of my own voice, a voice I had never really heard before.

I was fitted with hearing aids and returned to school but, I was so far behind in speech development, it required two years of speech therapy to help “catch” me up.

Speaking has always been challenging for me. Many times, I struggle with pronouncing words. I sound like I have this really odd accent. And so, engaging with people is usually nerve-wracking because they have a difficult time understanding me.

Jesus has called us to be a witness to others; and I have always felt like a complete failure because I’ve been too terrified for fear of being misunderstood.

Of turning people from Him instead of towards Him.

Then I read an article that changed my whole view.

“What qualifies you as an effective witness is that something happened to you and you’re willing to share it.” (Source: I’m a New Believer and Witnessing Terrifies Me)

In other words, it’s through our personal stories of how Jesus changed our lives that we are called to share. And that there are many ways of doing this.

Basically, witnessing is sharing how Jesus changed your life through not just words but also through our actions and lifestyle. It is both a personal testimony and a proclamation of God’s truth, rooted in the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19–20) and empowered by the Holy Spirit (Acts 1:8).

Witnessing isn’t just about preaching, teaching and evangelizing — though these are highly effective methods — not everyone is called to do these. Witnessing can be done by how we live our lives — which demonstrate God’s love through our daily actions.

My father was a great example of being a witness without preaching or evangelizing. As a trained carpenter, he was a man of few words who used his skills to help build and renovate local churches.

At his memorial service, people spoke of his kindness and the fact he always had a smile for everyone he met.

He lived out the example of Jesus Christ. Not so much in words as with his hands and his quiet sense of humor that uplifted people around him.

“Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” — John 13:35

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” — Matthew 5:16

Knowing that there are other ways of witnessing to others, I’m no longer as terrified as I was. 🙏