Why I’m Thankful to be Deaf-Blind

“Sometimes God allows what He hates to accomplish what He loves.” – Joni Eareckson Tada

When I first heard these words, I thought, how could one possibly accept this logic?

Joni is a quadriplegic who was crippled in a diving incident when she was seventeen. Like me, she struggled with the fact of how could a loving God allow good people, His people, to suffer?

She battled with anger, bitterness, and for a time, depression to the point where she wanted to die by suicide. But through the prayers and encouragement of her family and friends, she began to view herself differently.

As not an invalid but as someone with value and purpose in God’s eyes. Someone with a devastating disability who then turned it into a life ministry helping others. Before her accident, she became an accomplished painter. Afterward, she had to relearn how to paint with the use of the paintbrush via her mouth.

 Joni used to beg God for a miracle, to heal her broken body – but He didn’t.

“A ‘no’ answer to my request for miraculous physical healing has meant purged sin, a love for the lost, increased compassion, stretched hope, an appetite for grace, an increase of faith, a happy longing for heaven, a desire to serve, a delight in prayer, and a hunger for his Word. Oh, bless the stern schoolmaster that is my wheelchair!”  – Joni

She’s truly an inspiring example of God taking something terribly tragic and turning it into something good and beautiful.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28

How can our suffering end up being something good? How can a God who is said to be loving and kind allow us to go through anguish and pain?

Joni has an answer to these questions:

“I think suffering is just something that God uses to teach us who we are on the inside and how much we need change and transformation through His spirit…Suffering sandblasts us to the core, showing us that we’re not the paragons of virtue that we think we think we are. And that all of us, me included, we all need changing.” (Credit: Why Joni Eareckson Tada Believes God Uses Suffering For Our Good )

Later, in the same article, Joni went on to describe how our suffering leads us to reliance on God and to follow Jesus Christ’s example:

“His purpose in redeeming us is not to make our lives happy, or healthy, or free from trouble. His purpose is to make you more like Jesus. If Jesus learned obedience through suffering, we certainly are not above our Master. God destined us for trials to make us more like Him! So today, be strengthened and encouraged in your faith, never unsettled by your trials.”

It can be exceedingly difficult to grasp why such a loving God could allow some of us to experience horrific things.

I’ve questioned Him so many times about why He allowed me to become deaf-blind; why He allowed my first husband to die in a terrible car accident; or why He allowed my cousin and best friend to suffer from Muscular Dystrophy and passing before our fourteenth birthdays.

After my near-fatal heart attack in April 2023, my eyes were opened to some of the reasons as to why He would allow such suffering and pain.

It was not only to mold us into becoming more like Jesus but also to be a beacon for those who are in the throes of suffering or have suffered similar fates. Especially for those who are lost.

We, as believers in Christ, have hope and peace knowing that our suffering is only for a season and that one day, all our tears and pain will be removed and turned into an eternity of joy and beauty.

If I had not gone through these difficult circumstances, I would never have realized just how much I needed Him, His strength, and His peace. I would not have the revelation that being a Christian is so much more than just your typical religion. No, it’s about relationships. With Him and with others. And I’m so grateful that God gave me another chance at building a deeper one with Him.