The Pain Of Losing Someone

Losing a loved one is one of the most traumatic experiences in a person’s life.

Earlier this month, we lost a teenager to a car accident.

He was my son’s teammate from the summer Legion baseball.

The young man was only fifteen -leaving behind a father and a brother.

The family already endured the loss of the boys’ mother less than two years earlier – motorcycle accident.

Having lost my first husband and a miscarriage, my heart ached for this family.

This family is a Christian family – and the church as well as the local community surrounded them with love, comfort and prayers.

It is never easy to lose your loved one – and as a Christian, you know they are in a better place and that you’d see them again one day – still, when the death’s unexpected and especially if the person was a child, it does make it difficult to understand why God would allow such a thing to happen.

It’s a difficult thing to remind yourself that God uses all things – even death – for the ultimate good.

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18

In the midst of loss and mourning, this is so hard to see and understand.

From personal experience, I became very angry with the Lord and embittered. Instead of turning over to Him my agony in the sudden emptiness of my heart, I chose to dwell in misery – blaming Him and blaming various people who I had held responsible for the death of my first husband.

What I initially missed was how many people my late husband had touched who attended his memorial services and eventually came to personally know the Lord. Yes, in life he had a passion for people (which I did not), and through his death, many became Christians.

It’s difficult to remind yourself that God also uses our personal losses to help minister and comfort others in similar circumstances.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3,4

It is so hard to see any of this when you’re in the midst of all this pain and heartache, but in time, once the clouds of tears and grief eventually give way to a clearer sky, we begin to see glimpses of hope.

Hope of a future where all of our tears and pain will no longer be a part of our lives.

“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” Revelations 21:4

As Christians, we do not grieve like unbelievers – although our missing loved one have left a gaping hole in our life, we know that Jesus conquered death and that we will see this loved one again one day.

“But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. …” I Thessalonians 4:13-18

When my dad passed away in 2014 due to Interstitial Lung Disease, knowing that he was a believer, instead of saying”good-bye” to him, we chose to say, “see ya later.”

God of all comfort, my family and I are consumed with the pain of separation from our dear one who has left this life. We know that we will be reunited one day, but our hearts long to be together now. We remember that even Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus. And yet, in our sorrow, we thank you for the sweetness of your abiding presence. We thank you for your comfort and the peace that passes all understanding. Amen. (Prayer credit: https://connectusfund.org/14-best-comforting-prayers-for-loss-of-a-loved-one)